god, enlightenment, meditation, religion, yoga, bliss,astrology,reality, truth, success, business, coach, training, march, watch, attraction, development, secret, motivation, personal, inspiration, life, leadership, madness,Удача, бизнес, положение Удача, бизнес, положение, айбек иззатов, aybek izzatov, откровение гения
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Table of contents
Foreword.......................................................................2 Introduction...................................................................7 Initiation of the search of Reality..................................14 Meeting the Genius........................................................21 Mundane life...................................................................38 Approaching the Genius.................................................45 Astrology.........................................................................70 Crisis...............................................................................80 Attempt to see Reality......................................................94 The Truth is somewhere there.........................................134 The Revelation.................................................................221
The secret of Universe is for you
The secret of God is for you too...
Human life is short, and art will not save it. This saying shows our helplessness before time and fate, and our terror of death. In humble compassion to humanity I am writing this book. Author dr. Izzatov
The book was translated from Russian into English by the author, we appreciate your understanding of a limited description skill of certain fragments. Thanks.
The foreword to this book aims to prepare you for an interesting and captivating journey at the junction of reality and illusion. Some concepts in the book will not be easy to grasp at once even though the book is written in quite simple language. Take your time, do not rush through it. This book is a unification of mystical, scientific and philosophical concepts into a symbiosis of one whole. At a glance it might sound hard to achieve. Keep on reading and you will be sure to get every nuance of this book. You will understand where the shining of Absolute Truth comes from. Gradually your need for concepts to be clarified will grow, and with it I will be explaining matters from simple to more complex. I will use examples of daily life to explain things and concepts. It is my hope that this book will bring knowledge and truth into your life on this unique planet of Earth. If you are in search of knowledge and Absolute truth you will enjoy reading and learning from this book. As you read this book and meditate over the concepts and events described in it you will acquire a different realization of the world, your mind will be lighten up with the fire of reasoning. This realization will reach the limit of human consciousness transforming your life into a voyage through a wonderland and a journey through a magical fairytale. Events that take place in this book happened in remote areas of Central Asia. These are some of the most beautiful places of ancient civilization. Traditions dating thousands of years back continue to live there today. Its people are not caught up in the passions of modern day. They are not absorbed by political and economical turmoil typical of the Western world. They are very down to earth and might be the most hospitable people in the world. They will not hesitate to invite a total stranger for dinner and offered him to stay the night. He will be then seated at the most honorable place at the table. An ancient proverb goes that a guest of a house is higher than the head of the family. There is a bit of a hidden meaning in this old adage. It means that one day your guest might be God himself. Another cause of the birth of this book is the situation we have nowadays with various religions and how we view the Holy Scriptures. Some people attempt to influence others by means of referring them to holy writings yet have not fully understood them themselves. This approach leads many innocent soles astray. This is why it is my appeal to the reader to be attentive when reading through the pages of this priceless treatise. This book will help you understand the nature of creation around us as well as the reasons for this creation to exist. It will enable you to realize how everything began and how it will end. The events of this book are not fictional. They happened to real people, the characters of this book. Many scientists and philosophers will be able to gain vast and precious knowledge from this book. Those with a prompt mind will find discoveries and draw conclusions even today if they accept my word for a fact. As a medical doctor I discuss issues of medicine here as well. Although, since the book covers a wide range of topics I chose not to dwell on medical information too much. Not to confuse the reader by explaining concepts in great length I tried to present information in simple and concise form. It was not easy. As the information in this book is brilliant in its origin, I had to shorten the descriptive parts of the narration in order to be able to explain the genius sections of the book better. It was done for the good of the reader. There are a lot of evens described in this book, but all of them are meant to bring you to the main idea of Truth. Do not skip the beginning of the book for in this case you will miss the main idea of Truth. If you happen to find it difficult to grasp the main idea of Truth, I encourage you to reread it again from the beginning. The meaning of this book will help you not only understand your life at the end of it, but also as you live it. The intent of this book is not to convert you into a certain religious denomination. It is to help you understand religion and various spiritual creeds at a deeper level. As you turn to the last page of this book all the questions you might have had will be clarified and explained to you in detail. Your doubts and assumptions will dissipate. One more aspect of this multifaceted book has to do with atheism and its relation to the Absolute Truth. The most fervent and staunch atheists will be sure to have great revelations upon reading this book. They will understand the real level of consciousness atheism brings them to. I am not trying to change the position of my reader in society, but I do hope that when this publication is released it will change lives of people and society as a whole. I will not disclose the events of the book in the foreword as this will take away from the consecutive description throughout the book.
I am writing this book with a great desire that the hearts of my readers will hear the beautiful melody of this narration just as it sang its song in my heart the whole time before its publication. My book is the result of deep reflections. It is a source of wisest ideas. A perceptive reader will find true emeralds of Truth in this simple narration. All the characters in this book are not fictional. Most of the events described here are not as detailed as they happened in real life. It is my hope that the reader will understand my intention to simplify certain happenings. I will consider my mission accomplished even if only one person on this long-suffering planet Earth will get a spiritual boost in his development after reading this book. I am sure that if you ever experienced the veil of illusion being lifted from your eyes of mind you will find an echo to your feelings when reading this book.
My personal search for Truth took me on a journey of many aspects of this multifaceted phenomenal material manifestation of creation. Many areas in it present the same principles but in a different perspectives. This will take the searching individuals on many trips to nowhere. This is why it is most important to keep looking for the right way to the utmost Reality or Absolute Truth or as they also call it Consciousness of Universe. I thank the Highest Intellect for bringing many devout people into my life. These people are His real servants. They showed me a new world, a world filled with majestic riches and eternal bliss. Some time ago I was asked a definition of a genius. Who were those people I referred to as genii? I could not give a short answer. It would not fit in a day to answer a question like this. And once again, that was another reason for writing this book. But if I were to give a definition of a genius I would say genius is a person who is spontaneously in love with everything around him and even with "nothing” around him, per se their love is mutual… In the course of this book I will be gradually introducing a genius individual to you. In the time between these introductions I will be offering you ideas that do not belong to the genius. You will see for yourselves which concepts are products of their brilliant minds and which of them are commonplace reflections. I consider this an ideal approach to define a person’s genius. Now I am inviting you to examine the components of our consciousness. Let us figure out how our mind evolved and what it is. My dear reader, you and I are sure to remember our unclouded childhood. Our whole life looked like one long game. Our fun and adventures were endless. Remember, how at times we cried when parents called us back home because it was bedtime. We had to leave everything exciting behind and go to bed. Remember how we envied adults. They could play any game they wanted. But somehow they did not even want to play. They seemed so aloof to us, so god-like, so ascetic… Now it makes one laugh. I am not calling us to return to our childhood. Our minds were just starting to develop back then. Try to remember when for the first time you came in contact with your inner voice. When was it that that voice came to the surface of your crystal clean tablet? Where was that voice all the time before that? I will share with you an experience from my own childhood. It was quite ordinary for the most part. Though certain moments and episodes of it kept very vivid in my memory. Those certain episodes captured by my memory left unforgettable impressions on me. My conclusions are now post factum. The earliest of my memories is the one when I was between 12 and 24 months of age. I think I was at a daycare of some sort. I clearly remember myself in a crib. The crib was positioned by the door to the room. I could see people passing by my crib. I was trying to say or cry something out but nobody paid any attention to me. I knew I wanted to be changed. I needed a clean diaper. I did not have any argumentation in my head. I did not hear any voice. I could not talk at that age. But I could feel someone’s presence in my consciousness as if there was an observer or a witness there. Thus we can make a small conclusion. Our mind learns to speak simultaneously with coordinating senses and following gradual perfection of our hearing. On the next level of development a toddler moves to an older group at his daycare. Now his behavior is based on his environment. A child at this stage is like a mirror. He plays when the other kids play; he eats when the others eat. His actions are not based on his thinking. They are more reactive by character because the inner and the outer voices are synchronous. A child responds to stimulations from his environment with his speech. They even say a child speaks the truth like a parrot. Another example dates to when I was between 24 and 36 months. I could already speak. I was swimming in a pool with a lot of other kids. The kids were all naked. I had an unpleasant feeling as if somebody was looking at me from aside. I could feel some contradiction. Though I did not hear any voice inside of me that voice did exist already, and it tried to come in contact with me. Finally I am about five years of age. I am in the oldest daycare group. The day was Friday. Actually by that time I remember a lot of various events and happenings. But the trick is to recollect that first conversation with myself. So, it was Friday. The children are being picked up to go home. Many children are telling the teacher they would not be coming to daycare the next day as they would be going to their summer cottages. As I was observing what was happening I saw that the teacher looked very happy. She was a beautiful lady, and I wanted to say something nice to her or make her smile. I told her that I was also going to the summer house with my parents and would not be coming to school the next day. The teacher was a bit surprised and said, "Really? Usually you do come to school on Saturdays.” I proudly continued, "No, we are going to the summer house.” The truth was that we did not even have a summer cottage. The teacher still looked radiant. The next morning I tried as hard as I could to convince my parents not to take me back to preschool. But to no avail. I still remember the feeling of hurt and injustice that filled my chest that day! It was hard to breathe. Tears welled up in my eyes and I cried. I even tried to run away for a block or two, but they caught me and brought me back. Nothing worked. I had to go back. I faced the teacher that day in tears. When my parents left I dashed from the playground and over the short chain-link fence into a hedge of shrubbery. I hid there. Don’t ask me about its name, but I vividly remember it had really big flowers. I felt embarrassed that the teacher would think I was a liar. As I was sitting in the bushes I started talking to myself a little and even cried some more. When the tears dried up I started looking around and got fascinated by the huge flowers around me. They smelled so good. From my position I could hear the voices of my classmates and the teacher, the voices of my parents, some other words I could not even make out. At some point the great counselor, inner voice came to the stage. He was speaking in a so familiar and calming voice, "It does not matter that today is Saturday. It does not matter that you did not get to go to the summer house. The flowers are really big here. They smell so good, don’t they?” It happens in a similar way to many of us when we discover our inner voice for the first time. By that time the inner voice is already quite mature and knowledgeable companion of our consciousness. From that point on in my inner world life I started to call on my companion more and more. He answered by taking the reins of my life without asking any higher authority for a permission to do so. At some point in life we need the mind (here it is our inner voice, the listening part of mind will be discussed later) for further intellectual development. We need it to simply co-exist in our social arena. A child isolated from society until seven or eight years of age will never be able to speak. Life in a civilized society will be very hard for him. For the mind to develop adequately a person needs an equal stimulation of all his senses. The mind is the fruit of activity of our senses and nervous system. The value of the mind should not be underestimated. It is the means to the necessary destination. Our final task is then to exit this vehicle or means that took us to our destination. It is a serious issue. I believe, it is the most important thing in the life of every human being. At the end of life we all face this dilemma. The way we solve it for ourselves determines the fate ahead. There the master will be the game of imagination. Sooner or later this game will take the color of long suffering after a brief moment of bliss. When one begins to understand the transient nature of the mind and the meaning of time in the matter of mind and memory, one starts to feel a real need to rid himself of this firm and strong illusion.
Initiation of the search of Reality
To keep this book entertaining for you, my dear reader, I believe it is time to get you better acquainted with certain events of my life. Let me share with you the lessons I learned from very wise people and the choices I made when facing particular situations. I will try to keep my story interesting for you and easy to read, for the purpose of this book is your understanding of it. I am only your humble servant here. So, where do we begin? I was born in the family of medical doctors in the city of Tashkent, in Uzbekistan in Central Asia and then part of the Soviet Union. I was an excelling student and enjoyed math and social studies. I loved sports and outdoor activities. Later I entered a medical school, graduated from it with a degree in urology and worked for a while as a medical doctor. Throughout my younger years I was fascinated with philosophy. As the Soviet Union collapsed and market economy entered the scene I tried myself in commerce. I founded a small company, opened a grocery store and a coffee shop. At that time I was 25, and I was sure I knew it all – long hours of studies, science, matters of the heart, betrayal, humiliation, rage, evil and even street laws and power games. Deep inside I was even a little proud of myself for having achieved and tasted so much by that time of my life. Now, my dear reader, I will tell you how I stepped on the path of searching for Absolute Truth and the reason behind creation of this objective reality. As I already mentioned I used to have a small grocery story on the outskirts of Tashkent. The location was very good, and the store was doing very well compared to most other small retail businesses there. I spent a lot of time at the store. One of the reasons was that many of my friends and acquaintances as well as business partners would often gather there. The other reason was that when you have a retails business there are a lot of details to take care of on a daily basis. It won’t work any other way. The nature of the business is very delicate. Everybody works for his profit. In addition you have constant check-ups from the district trade department and from the tax inspection. Some days by the time you finish inventory and arrangements for the next day, there is not much time left in the night to get a little rest. On days like that I would stay at the store and sleep an hour or two in the back room. It was on a night like that that something unforgettable happened. That incident became the starting point in my journey to the inner world of my existence. That night we finished calculating the profit and stocked up the shelves by 3 a.m. It was summer time, though the night was surprisingly cool. I did not want to leave the store, so I stayed there together with my manager. He was not from Tashkent and was a little worried to be in the store alone in case a conflict situation or a burglary or occurs. We watched TV for a quarter of an hour or so and I went to bed. I remember the manager turned the TV off and the longed-for silence came at last. I was just drifting off to sleep when I felt someone shaking me. At first I thought it was part of my dream. Then I opened my eyes and saw a young man. He was wearing sunglasses and a black cap. He smiled at me and said, "How is it going, pal?” I felt puzzled. I tried to say something but did not have a chance. With a sharp swing the man hit me right in the lower jaw. I thought he could be a boxer and probably knew how to knock someone down. When I tried to get up after a short while another man skillfully and swiftly twisted my right arm and put a knife to my throat. I felt the blade pushing on my skin. It was not a pleasant feeling. I was still not completely awake and could not evaluate the situation fully, but I knew I was in trouble. I tied to be brave and prove I was not an easy target. I spoke to them in a street jargon and tried to use some names powerful in the criminal world. That earned me a punch in the stomach. At that moment I felt completely helpless. My manager was already tied up and on the ground by that time. By the way, there were three burglars altogether there. They acted very professionally. It looked like they used a lifting jack to break in. The back door that they used was very wide and made of steel. The burglars bent the upper part of the door and used the opening to get through. You would not have been able to do all that without a plan. My friend on the ground had blood all over his face. I was sure he got a good share of the same language I received. All three assaulters were wearing sunglasses and caps. They all had black jackets on. "Where is the money?”- asked the smallest of the burglars. I did not answer. Then he said, "Your partner here said you keep all the money.” I looked at him with disdain. I still wanted to prove I was not a coward. I was hoping that could scare them at least a little bit. I wanted to do something. At that moment the guy standing next to the little one pulled out his knife and came up to me. I already felt the power of his fist before. He put the knife to my stomach and said, "How much would they give for your life? I think a little more than what you have in that drawer there.” He started to apply pressure to the knife at my stomach. At that moment I realized that the man was not emotionally stable and that I was about to lose my life right there and then. The thoughts were making my mind cloudy. I was thinking,”It will happen any moment. Now… This is the end. What is after that?” I knew I was not ready to die. I thought my life was senseless. It did not have a point. Everything I learned in life was useless. Fear and resentment filled my heart. I was desperate. I started to plea them not to kill me. I was asking for their forgiveness. I was ready to do anything to buy my life back. My pleas were heard. The burglar hit me once more in the stomach and stepped to the side. I showed them where we kept the money. It was located in a specially built-in shelf inside an ice-cream machine. We believed our secret with the money shelf would never be uncovered. How wrong was it to think that way! The burglars carefully took the money and packed it in the bags they brought with them. Then they tied us up, put tape over our mouths and unhurriedly left. The noise from their car sounded like it was a Russian model. The thing that upset me the most after that night was the feeling that I turned out to be a completely different person than I thought I was. The feeling of betrayal and self-deception pestered me. I was sitting there thinking, "What if they killed me? What would have happened then?” I was disappointed in myself. I also realized the frailty of life. We all are so close to crossing the line to the other side. That was the most unusual event that ever happened to me. Frankly, later on in life I was thankful that it had happened to me. I was given a chance to realize how real death was. I felt its unpredictability, its coldness and cruelty. For a couple of weeks after what happened that night I was trying to calm down and find peace with myself. I wanted to get those guys back and avenge myself. Every night as I was lying in bed I relived that same fear, the abyss to nowhere. The thought was so persistent that I got interested in movies about the other world. Gradually I started to feel closer to people who had religious faith. I found myself trying to move away from people interested in material things alone. I started reading from the Koran, Aristotle, Plato, Goethe, the Bible, Bhagavad Gita, Patanjali, Osho, Shiva Sutra, Krishnamurti and various books of mysticism. I started attending a Bible school where we studied the Book rigorously. Every week I attended lectures on Srimad Bhagavatam. I could not bypass seminars on Maharishi Mahesh Yogi either. My fascination with spiritual doctrines continued for several years. It seemed like they all were talking about the same thing more or less but in different languages. The differences depended on their time in history or the culture of the people preaching, but I could not find something real or tangible for myself in their lectures and studies. I was looking for an experience of sensation or some sort of candid admonition. By that time I already tried techniques of meditation with mantras and Kriya Yoga. I also attempted a self-realization with the help of Shiva Sutras techniques. Sometimes I had what seemed like unusual moments, but after a while it proved to be only a play of my imagination. Long periods of disappointment threw me back into the world where I could satisfy my desires and then face more problems caused by those satisfactions. Then I would wake up and return to my books again and again.
Meeting the Genius
That was the way my life was going for a while until one beautiful sunny day. I attended a three-hour lecture at an Indian temple. We sang and worshiped holy names as the tradition declares. After the lecture I met an amazing person. That was how it happened. When the people at the temple sat down in a certain order to eat the sacred food, or as they call it prasadam, a middle-aged man came up to me with two mats and offered one to me. I accepted it gladly. Nobody at the temple ever made fine gestures like that to me before, so it felt very pleasant and unusual at the same time to be offered a mat. The man asked if I minded him sitting next to me. I happily agreed. Deep inside I was thinking that I already met that man somewhere before. Trying to pull that memory from the depths of my mind I did recollect seeing him at that same temple a few weeks ago. That time he was dancing an Indian dance with the devotees of Lord Krishna. His dancing was very passionate. I remember thinking that he had to have been a very emotional person. So, two weeks later we were siting next to each other waiting patiently for the sacred food to be distributed. The stranger turned to me and asked in a mysterious tone,”Is your name Aybek?” I said,”Yes.” I was sure nobody knew my name at the temple. I thought the stranger probably knows someone I know. He asked again, "You are a doctor, right?” His voice was raspy and loud. Again I answered, "Yes.” I thought in order to be polite I probably needed to ask him something too. But it was out turn to take prasadam. We finished eating almost at the same time. The stranger carefully took the bowl from my hands to take it to the kitchen. I wanted to politely decline his help, but it was too late. So I just smiled. I decided to follow the etiquette of politeness and ask the stranger something about himself. In Uzbekistan it is considered good manners. I waited for the stranger to come back and asked what his name was. He told me his name. I had to change it in this book as he asked me not to reveal it. Then I asked him what he was doing for a living. He said he was a doctor too, in a broad sense of the word. The way he said it was very intriguing. I looked into his eyes and saw a look I had never seen before. It combined emptiness mixed with total satisfaction or happiness mixed with some absent-mindedness. But the face of the man was undoubtedly the face of a leader; it was a face of a confident person. It did not have a trace of doubt on it. The man was dressed rich and tastefully. He was not tall. He was broad in shoulders and had a wide chest. Not heavy, but of a real stocky build. When we came close to the exit, the man took my sandals, washed them under the faucet, dried them with towels and gently without any noise put them in front of me. I was in a stupor. Acts of that sort are accepted in my culture only between very close people. I did not have people that were that close to me in my life then. I tried to reciprocate his gestures of service, but all my attempts were either clumsy or I messed up my timing. When we were leaving the gates of the temple the man asked me where I was going from there. I did not have my car that day. I planned to take a tram which conveniently stopped right by my block of apartments. I answered that I was going home by tram and started saying my good-buys. He asked,”What are your plans at home?” "Don’t know yet.” - I said. "Let’s go to my place for a cup of strong hot tea.” – he continued. I felt hypnotized. It was hard to refuse his offer. He looked mysterious and spoke with an enigma. I felt drawn into his company. I asked if he lived far away. He said, "No, about a 20 minutes’ ride.” I agreed and we started walked towards the parking area where his car was. He came up to a white Russian car and moved toward a passenger seat. I bent slightly over and noticed a young man in sun glasses in the driver’s seat. The man looked very intelligent. I decided he must have been a relative of my new acquaintance. The doctor sat in the front seat. I climbed in the back and said hello to the driver. "Let’s go.” - said the doctor. The driver started the car. On the way to his house the doctor was humming songs of Mashrap*. He asked what kind of songs I liked. We talked some more small talk, nothing in particular. At some point I caught myself thinking that I was going to an unknown place with people I did not know. Somehow I was sure I was not in danger. We arrived to the doctor’s place exactly in 20 minutes, just as he promised. The area looked very affluent. As soon as we climbed out of the car, the young driver politely excused himself and left. The doctor looked at me and asked me to follow him and to please feel at home. His house was very tastefully built and decorated. The whole style resembled more of an Asian than European influence. Walls were adorned with Egyptian manuscripts. There were statues of Greek gods and Indian deities in the rooms. The ceiling was painted in the style of a mosque. The house looked more like a museum than a house. The aroma of figs permeated the house. For some strange reason there were decorative bowls full of dried figs and raisins. I sat on a huge sofa and started to examine the living room with unreserved admiration. The owner of the house excused himself and went to the kitchen to start the water for the tea. His words sounded unusual in the Uzbek language. I was looking at the Egyptian manuscripts and remembered Gurdjieff’s* idea on progression of the soul. It seemed logical but overly simplistic for me at that moment. Probably because of my ignorance. My thoughts were interrupted by my new acquaintance who entered the room carrying an intricately painted jug and a bowl for hand-washing. He had a towel on his shoulder. According to our tradition a guest is offered to wash his hands and face before a meal. This ritual serves as a sign of respect on the one hand and for convenience on the other. The houses are built in such a way that bathroom is often located in a separate building. That is done in order not to offend the aromas of the house and the laws of Feng Shui*. I stretched my hands and slowly washed them under the stream of water from the jug. I then dried my hands on a sparkling white towel and thanked the owner of the house. He slowly bent his knees and started to murmur something. Then he took my right foot, put it in the bowl and started washing it. I felt embarrassed and began to protest pulling my foot away. The doctor insisted. He carefully and gently washed my feet. But that was nothing compared to what happened next. He then said a prayer, took the bowl that he had used to wash my hands and feet, and drank the water that was in it to the last drop. I was shocked and amazed. I lost my gift of speech and could not express any emotion. I was simply looking at him as if I was in a stupor. When I calmed down, the only thought that was occupying my mind was the idea to flee from that house under any pretext. My breathing was tense and heavy. My mind was filled with a mixture of astonishment and fear. The host came back into the room and asked if I preferred my tea plain or with milk. I chose to have it plain. I cannot explain why I chose to have it plain as I always liked it with milk. He handed me a cup with tea and intently looked straight into my eyes. It seemed as if he was trying to read my thoughts. I was trying to find some logic in my host’s behavior, but nothing that made any sense came to mind. I was sure the man either had a psychiatric disorder or was not of this world. I was finishing my third cup of tea. We were talking about medicine by then. I was asking something about skin diseases like psoriasis and vitiligo hoping that would relax the atmosphere a little. After the host got up to make another pot of tea, I stood up with him and started to excuse myself. The time was late and it was hard to catch a taxi at night. My host slowly went back to where he was sitting and offered me to sit down again. After a short pause he said, "Do you believe that God could come down to this Earth just for one person?” I took a moment and answered, "I think I do.” The master of the house looked at me again and said, "I see divine glow behind the curtain of this body …” The manner in which he was speaking to me was similar to the one adults tell fairy tales to little children. Standing next to my host I could not but felt like a small child. I insisted that I really needed to get going. He asked for my telephone number. He said he had more medical questions to me and hoped we could talk again some time. I told him my telephone number and we said our good-buys. When I left the house, there was another car waiting close by. The driver that time was an older gentleman. He came out and offered to give me a ride home. I took him for a private taxi driver and happily agreed. My home was not far and in a quarter of an hour I was already home. We did not talk much on the way home. Just before leaving I tried to offer the driver some money for the ride. He refused to take it. He said we would see each other again. I realized without a shadow of a doubt that the driver had something to do with the doctor. I thanked him and started moving towards my entrance. Suddenly I heard his voice, Wait! Hazrat sent you some fruit!” I guessed that "Hazrat” was the name the people in the doctor’s entourage used to call him. It means "master” in the Uzbek language. I attempted to object, but was too late again. The driver was already handing me the box and turning to leave. I walked home, sat in an arm-chair and realized how tired I was. After a brief rest I opened the box. It was full of dried figs and raisins. Events of that night evoked in my consciousness. I thought that a year would not be enough to eat the amount of fruit in the box. And all that time it would be reminding me of my mysterious evening with Hazrat. I will be frank with you, my reader. My initial impression of Hazrat then was that the man had some problems in his psyche. I felt fear and uncertainty about him and made up my mind to avoid meeting him again. Several days passed since those events. Life was normal again. I tried not to think of my strange encounter, but that proved to be practically impossible. In a week’s time I caught myself at the thought of waiting for some kind of news or a telephone call from the man. I was missing the crooning tone of his voice. Suddenly, one fine day Hazrat did call me. I picked up the phone and asked who I was talking to. It was him. He said hello and started asking about my health, my parents, friends, job and so on. The small talk about health and relatives is customary in our culture. When it was my turn to talk I asked all the same questions. After the pleasantries he unexpectedly asked, "Have you already had dinner?” The time was between four and five in the afternoon. I answered that I had not eaten yet. He said, "Do you know the Turkish restaurant on the main street? I am there. I ordered a pizza.” I agreed to come and in twenty minutes I was at the place. By the time I arrived the food was already on the table. Pizza was marvelous. While eating we were talking about the works of Avicenna and how Galen influenced the ideas of Avicenna in medicine. I was curious about Hazrat’s opinion. In Hazrat’s words, in his Canon of Medicine Avicenna only offered superficial concepts and instructions and, for the most part, relied on Galen and Charaka Samhita. Hazrat added that in order to understand the true attitude of Avicenna towards medicine, one had to familiarize himself with selected works of Avicenna. Only having read those one could differentiate Avicenna’s personal opinion on the subject from the opinion accepted by the society of his time. At a most interesting part of our conversation Hazrat stopped and said that in 15 minutes it was a prayer time and we had to go. We left and restaurant and were met outside by the same driver who gave me the box with dried fruit. We got in the car and went to Hazrat’s home. As the ritual demanded, we performed ablution and began to pray. Hazrat was in front, the driver and I were in the back. As soon as he uttered the first words, I could tell he either had been or still was an imam at a mosque. Imam is the head of a mosque. While we were praying, both of my companions started to cry - first Hazrat, then - the driver. I felt uncomfortable as I could not make myself cry. Besides, I had never done it before. After the prayer, as the tradition was, we greeted each other and hugged. Then everybody sat down and got comfortable. I felt like running away from that place again. The relationships between these people and their spiritual manifestations made me uncomfortable. They were strange to my world view. After a short pause Hazrat looked at me, then slowly turned to the driver and said my name. I said, "Yes.” He asked why I prayed. I thought for a second and answered that I wanted to express my respect to God, to show Him my devotion and ask for His mercies on my life, so He would make my life easier. Hazrat was silent for another moment and then said, "Why else?” I said,”So that when I die, I would not get to hell.” Hazrat asked again, "Why else?” I said, "I prayed so He would show me the way to heaven when I die.” Hazrat looked into my eyes and asked yet again, "Why else?” I said, "That was all.” I realized that any talks of self-consciousness, yoga and enlightenment were out of the question there. I had a thought though that Hazrat knew what I was thinking at that moment. He turned away from me and asked the driver, "And you, my dear, why were you crying?” The driver looked back at Hazrat as if he was asking for forgiveness or grace and then said, "I am sorry for myself in this life. I am helpless in the face of my fate. I do not want to get to hell when I die.” As he was talking tears welled up in his eyes. Hazrat then asked him, "So, you want to get to heaven then?” The driver looked at me, thought for a moment and said, "Yes.” Hazrat again asked, "And what will you do then?” The driver said, "I will enjoy perfection of heaven where there is no suffering.” Hazrat again asked, "And after that?” "I will live among righteous people, - said the driver.” One more time Hazrat asked, "And what else?” "I will talk to God,” - said the driver. "And then?” – asked Hazrat. The driver did not understand what Hazrat wanted him to say. He was looking at Hazrat with pleading eyes. A questioning silence set among us. I was afraid Hazrat would ask me the same question and put my head down hiding my eyes from him. The silence was hanging for what seemed like five long minutes. I was under the impression that Hazrat was deep in some sort of meditation. The driver and I both were studying Hazrat. Next, Hazrat loudly said, "Aybek, you can go now.” I felt as if a boulder fell off of my chest when I heard his words. I politely said good-bye first to Hazrat and then to the driver. That time when I was leaving Hazrat’s place I had a better picture of what was happening there. I also started pondering on the questions Hazrat posed to the driver. All his answers seemed right, yet there had to have been a better answer. There had to have been an answer that did not have to do with earthy wishes and aspirations. Heaven is probably something close to eternity where the wishes like those are not relevant. I remembered a phrase from a movie about Achilles. In the movie Achilles was talking with one the princesses of Troy who was serving at the temple of Apollo. He asked her if she wanted to know the most interesting secret about gods. The princess was surprised at first since she could only see an uneducated soldier in Achilles. She said, "How would you an illiterate boor know the great gods?” And she turned away from him. Achilles bent towards her and said, "Gods are jealous of us.” The princess turned abruptly back to him as if waiting for an explanation. Achilles moved closer to her and continued, "Every moment of gods repeats itself millions and billions of times. That makes their existence bland and monotonous. Their lives lack the fear of a loss or the joy of the day yet to come. They cannot experience the excitement of anticipating a happy moment. We humans have all of that. We live every moment of our lives knowing that it will never repeat itself.” These words are wise. Are they practical though? Many of us, just like the driver, might have a superficial understanding of objective reality. We might not understand Reality the way it is. It is so sad to think that many of us will realize what Reality is when it is time for us to leave our human bodies. But by that time it will be too late. Without the human body the soul is helpless like a shadow. Let us get back now to my story. I thought I was starting to understand Hazrat. But still his strange actions, the way his body moved and the look in his eyes – all those things evoked admiration and cautiousness before the unknown. I got back home and took a contrast shower, first hot and then cold. The tension left my body. That night for the first time since meeting Hazrat I felt more confident and more liberated. The next day the daily routine engulfed me and after a while I began to grow cold to the thoughts of Hazrat and his mystical image. I was even happy to get back to my normal state. I think it happened because the nature of the mind is such that changes in its principals of operation lead to tension. At the same time the usual ways of its operation relax it and provide some sort of satisfaction. Routine gives it more options to spoil itself with unnecessary fantasies and dreams. Another couple of weeks went by. I noticed I was remembering Hazrat less and less. Nevertheless, the bowls of dried figs and raisins, Hazrat’s gift to me, reminded me of the time spent with him. In those days I was fascinated with the book by Harish Johari* and was working on my chakras or energetic centers. I thought the meditations were effective, but later on that was proven to be a deceit. Then one night the phone rang. Hazrat was on the line. As always it took us a long time to greet each other. Finally, he said, "We are having dinner quite close to your house. Would you like to join us?” The evening was lonely, and I was happy to get out of the house. In five minutes’ time I was at the restaurant, where Hazrat and his students were having dinner. This time Hazrat looked very different. He was dressed in religious style clothing. His face was tanned and fresh. I found out a couple of days ago he came back from a trip to Turkey. I said hello to Hazrat, and he introduced me to his students. I exchanged greetings with each of them. There were 14 people there including Hazrat. Four tables were put together to accommodate the group. Everybody already ordered their food and was waiting for it while sipping tea. One of Hazrat’s students came up to me and offered me a menu. I picked all the vegetarian dishes – a salad and a vegetable kebab. It sounded strange for a kebab, but that restaurant offered about 40 types of kebabs! While we were waiting for our dishes to arrive another student who was a professional singer was entertaining us with his talent. He was singing beautiful folk songs. I was carefully examining the people at the table. Most of them were young, except for one. That person looked like he could be about 55-60. He looked like he belonged to the scientific circles or another intelligent sort. It turned out he was a writer. I believe, he was writing a biographical book about Hazrat. Hazrat was in a festive mood that day. He laughed a lot and crooned some pretty complicated tunes. The singer tried to mimic him. It was entertaining to listen to. Hazrat often answered his students’ questions with jokes. Soon the food arrived, and everyone got to it. It was interesting to watch them eat. They were exclaiming how good the food tasted, they commented on the dishes and smacked their lips. I was under the impression that all of them had no complexes. They all seemed happy and content with life. When the evening came to its conclusion, I came up to Hazrat to thank him for the dinner and to say good-bye. He said good-bye and added that if I wanted to seriously look for God to give him a call. I nodded. Then I came up to the student who gave me the menu and offered him some money for my dinner. He said they never paid there and always were served for free. I was surprised and asked if he was joking. He said that when it came to money he never joked. I smiled, bid farewell and left. I thought I got it all then. Hazrat was a spiritual leader, an organizer and phenomenal healer. His medical knowledge was not less than mine. His knowledge in pharmacology and biochemistry was surpassing mine times and times over. He knew all the elements of Mendeleev’s periodic table and was fascinated with poisons. Another amazing thing about him was that he knew everything, absolutely everything starting from math of Poincare and ending with Tibetan astrology. I got home and realized I did not even know Hazrat’s telephone number. That scared me. My heart thumped. I was disturbed by the thought that I could not ever call him myself. I did not want him to think that I was not interested in his teachings. I started thinking how to solve the problem. The next day I went to the telephone station. My home phone at that time did not have a caller ID. I never gave Hazrat my cell number either. I got to the station and asked for a print out of the calls to my home number. I got what I was looking for. I did not call immediately. I did not want to make an impression that my decision was impulsive or not thought through very well. I waited three days before I called him back. The first time I called he did not pick up the phone. The second time I called I left a message. He did not call back. The next day I was calling him again and again with no result. I was growing worried. At first I thought he was ignoring me on purpose. Then I thought that something could have happened to him. Three more days passed. I was completely disappointed. I decided to call one last time. I dialed the number and … you guessed it right – he did not answer it. I felt desperate. I could not find the explanation to this. It seemed like some sort on an intrigue.
More time passed. I forgot about chakras. I did not spend any time in meditation. The other part of my life underwent some changes too. I am talking about my job and my private life. I gave all my small businesses to my older brother who changed them all into bakeries. He became quite successful with it. The clinic where I worked sent me to more and more trainings. One of them was training in endoscopy because the clinic acquired a new esophagogastroduodenoscope. I was the youngest doctor on staff, so I became the first choice to be sent to the training. A bit later the administration decided that as a doctor of urology, I would benefit from taking a course on sexopathology as well. That is a typical fate of all the new specialists in our culture. One day the administration decided to send me to a remote resort complex that was owned by the ministry of railroads of Uzbekistan. The complex was in the mountainous region, on the border between Uzbekistan and Tajikistan. The head doctor of the resort complex takes his vacation in the summer time. Consequently they needed a sub doctor to come and fill in for the time being. They also prefer to send a single person rather than a married one for an extended assignment like that. As a single man I was the first choice for the position again. It was Tuesday, the end of the work day. The head doctor who is also the head of the administration called for me. She was very friendly and smiled a lot. That was not typical. By the end of the day she usually not only did not smile, but did not even say "hello” to anybody. I sensed she was about to assign me something that was not part of my regular work at the clinic. On top of that, to refuse to do it after all the smiles would not have been a good idea. Yet I did not smile back to her trying to make her realize I knew something unpleasant was coming my way. She started the conversation very politely, "Aybek, you have to agree to this assignment. I really need you to do me a favor.” I knew there was no way out. I said, "Yes, of course. How can I refuse after everything you have done for me?” The head doctor relaxed a little and sat deeper in her chair. Her next sentence was more firm. "The wife of our boss will be on vacation at the resort complex that needs a head doctor for the next month. You understand everything.” " Yes, I do.” – I said. "I really want a doctor from our clinic to sub there. You will be the only doctor there. She will be spending time with you, talking to you. Do not be shy. Talk to her, tell her about our clinic. Tell her of our changes and my role in it. Tell how hard it was to organize everything here.” I was surprised how direct she was with me in trying to influence the wife of our boss. Nevertheless, I put on a serious face and said, "Of course, it is all for sake of our prosperity, isn’t it?” She looked at me and said, "You will get far, if nobody stops you at the right time.” Then she added, "The train is tomorrow morning.” I was surprised and said, "Already, tomorrow morning?” "Yes, is something not right?” "I need to get everything ready, to say good-byes to friends…” – I mumbled. "Too many girlfriends to say good-bye to?” Then she added, "Go and do not disappoint me.” I left her office and thought to myself how people did not understand that life is like a bottomless swamp sometimes. The more you move around, the deeper you become sucked in it. At times like that you agree with orthodox Jews who do not accept higher education and high positions in life. There is a lot of meaning there. When I got to my office the phone rang. I picked it up and heard my grandmother’s voice. She called me often and every time reminded me that I had to get married and have children and since she was old I had to hurry with it. I was getting ready to hear her usual speech. To my surprise she said she had a terrible headache and nausea. She said she was not feeling good at all. I asked her what she ate, if she took a hot shower or whether she lifted something heavy. I thought I could solve her problem over the phone. Grandmother insisted that I came to see her and stayed the night. I had no alternatives. Grandma lived on the other end of town. Shortly after the call I was on my way to see her. When I got there grandma was at her neighbors’ place. The neighbors were my very close friend’s parents. We spent the evening with them, and Grandma looked like she already forgot about her possible hypertension attack earlier. When we got home Grandma still was adamant about me staying the night. The next morning I was all ready to go to the train station with no luggage. I bought some clothes and hygiene items in the stores by the station and was boarded the train. When I got to the resort I was amazed at the beauty of the place. Mountains were surrounding the building of the resort. Several small rivers were glistening in the sunshine. Grapevines webbed the building. The air was filled with sweet aroma of blooming flowers, and birds were singing all around. The whole picture resembled paradise. I thought to myself that I would love to live there. The team of doctors and nurses was very nice, too. The first night there we all gathered in the cafeteria to get to know me a little bit better. As I found out later they also wanted to find out the news in the capital. It was a treat for people who lived in such a remote area to meet someone from a big city. I kept catching myself at being amazed how kind and how humble those people were. They all lived in practically one village. They resembled one big family. They knew everything about everybody. Another surprising fact was that nobody had fences or gates around their properties. They all had some sort of live stock, and they all cooperated with each other. It quickly became a tradition to gather in the cafeteria every night. The staff of the resort sometimes brought their parents or relatives with them. That was unusual. Anyway, everything was wonderful during the day. But when the time came for the night I was afraid to go to my room. I was never scared like that before and could not understand why that was happening to me. When I got to the resort I remembered that I did not bring any of my books with me. I was disappointed but thought I could go to their library and get something there. One day I needed to get someone’s chart from the office of the doctor I was subbing for. Looking through the shelves in his office I noticed an unusual book. It was written in the Russian language. That was puzzling as nobody in that area spoke or read Russian. The book was called "White and Black Magic” and was written by Papyus (Jerar Ankoss). The reader might be familiar with that book. I was quite happy to find it there. I started reading it. At first it was interesting. I was learning about the history and what people thought of magic at different times. One day I was reading about finding your charm. Out of curiosity on a sunny Saturday I went to the mountains. I took a long walking stick to guard off snakes. I walked all day in the mountains trying not to think about anything. There was this whistling sound there that never stopped. I was thinking you could go crazy from it if you stayed there for two or three days. I saw several snakes, and several heads of big horn sheep without the rest of the bodies. I was looking for a small rock that could be my charm. Once I had the charm, the book would lead me towards the magical part. That was how all my fears began. I was placed in a one-bedroom apartment on the third floor. The patients, procedure rooms and offices were on the first and second floors. All the rooms on my floor were free of tenants and the hallway was always empty. Another particularity was that the air conditioning in the whole building was not working and it was getting too hot at nights. So we had to keep the windows open at night to allow some air in. By the way, there were no insect nets on the windows. The first several nights I slept and did not think about anything. Later on, when I started practicing magic and calling spirits I was totally petrified. Now it all seems funny but back then I was scared half to death. I could hear noises of cracking doors, sound of steps in the hall way, and bats were flying into my open windows. You will understand it better when you realize that far from civilization in a remote area the nights are quieter and more mysterious. The moon and stars are practically hanging from the sky as if you can reach them. This is beautiful when you are not reading about magic or think about spirits. Years later I understood the meaning of those phenomena from the book of Papyus in the development of a mystic. Besides, what kind of a mystic is a person who is afraid of death or losing a part of the body or injury. That of course, applies to a beginner mystic. The experience of my business trip was very valuable to me. I tried to follow up on the request of my head doctor. But that part did not leave a big trace in my memories of that trip. I would like to fill you in on a big secret that I discovered as a result of that trip. I am addressing it to those who are striving to satisfy their desires. This is in fact a principle for conquering the world. To win women, servants and children give them gifts. To win greedy, give him money. To win a king, give him gossip. To win a fool give him your obedience. To win a friend, be sincere with him. To win a wise man, give him truth. To win a relative, be attentive to them. That is the essence. If you move towards your goals following these rules, you will achieve the pinnacle of your desires. But is it really worth spending something as precious as your life on it? By the way, talking about magic - it exists if you believe in it.
Approaching the Genius
Now I would like to go back to my story of Hazrat. I realized that I needed a mentor figure for my spiritual development. It had to be a person who was self-realized and also somebody who understood Reality. In my life I happened to observe many so-called saint or spiritually complete people. But looking closer at them I saw that they themselves definitely were of the opinion that they were complete. To their happiness of chagrin the people around them also were of the same opinion...
God Enlightenment Yoga Meditation Astrology Guru Self Realization Consciousness Universe Creation
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